if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
