I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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