I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
