New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
