Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
