She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
