let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
