Whod you bang
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
