May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
