Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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