remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
