Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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