Don't you send me to vm
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
