you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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