Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
