I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
