I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
