Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
