To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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