Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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