Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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