he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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