No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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