Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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