Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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