I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
