i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just invented taco cereal.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
