you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
