Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So squirting runs in the family.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
