Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
