I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
