Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
