Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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