Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
