if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
