i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
