Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
