So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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