ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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