he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
