guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
