So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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