I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
