oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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