I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
