doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
