she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
