lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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