It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
