Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
